Sample Editing
The following numerous edit samples for NONFICTION BOOKS show before and after.
- Business article - minimum light edit on computer, using Track Changes, good writing (avg 2200 wds/hr)
- Susan Stewart Grubb - light line edit on paper (25 hrs)
- John Zaugg - typical comprehensive line edit on paper (avg 1475 wds/hr)
- Dan Estep - heavy edit on paper, needed more, including reorganization for reading flow
- John Sells - once-thru rewrite on computer (avg. 3 pgs/hr)
All of these are once-through work.
The original work is double-spaced.
BEFORE
BUSINESS ARTICLE
While wealth management may sound like a general term, it actually refers to a specific approach and process for helping with an individual’s financial matters. The wealth manager, a specialized advisor, works like a financial architect, taking a holistic view of clients’ situations before creating detailed plans and providing them with solutions. The wealth manager maintains an aerial and long-term view of the entire process to make sure the solutions receive full implementation and don’t end up ignored in a leather binder on the shelf. (original good organization and clear, clean writing)
AWARD-WINNING
Historical Biography
Susan Stewart Grubb
The Woman from Short Grass Country
When we left Alabama in 1903, I was a skinny eight-year old with hazel eyes and dark brown hair in braids so long I could sit on them. Tall for my age, I went barefoot and wore a print calico dress. To keep from catching diseases from the strangers on the train, I had to wear a piece of asafetida on a string around my neck.
As the big black engine chugged slowly north for four days and nights, the sense of adventure was so strong in me that I had little interest in the food Mama had packed in a basket for us to eat. Behind me lay the former slaves, cotton fields, rushing rivers, and “dark days” I knew in the tall timber country near Wetumpka, Alabama. Ahead of me was my future.
I knew then that the western Kansas prairies that had called us north held much promise. I did not know that my life there would involve homesteading in a sod house, driving cattle barefoot across snake-infested prairies, rabbit drives, tornadoes, doctoring people with mustard plasters, huge dust storms, and the greatest time of growth and change in history. During my lifetime, I saw civilization go from travel by horse and buggy to a man walking on the moon.
How could I, a bashful little girl born 29 years after the Civil War to a southern girl and a former Yankee soldier, have ever guessed that I would become one of the early pioneers of Weskan, Wallace County, Kansas? Never would I have dreamed that the way of life I was taking for granted would someday no longer exist. My family thinks these memories are worth writing down. This book is for them.
John Zaugg
Top Secret: Ethics
This is a book about ideas, and about how to become a person who controls his life instead of letting circumstances control them. It is only an outline, you are going to have to be the artist. Life means the creation of the “self” not as a process of accidental discovery, but as a deliberate design for living well. We are not a product of our heredity, environment or circumstances, they are just the palette and canvas that we are given to work with to mold our lives. We need to understand what makes human success possible, both the social-political conditions and the personal character qualities. This is a book about the ethics essential to personal character which also forms the foundation for a free society. The crisis in America is that “freedom” remains an undefined ideal that each year becomes more illusive instead of more real. Instead of progressing toward a glorious future we are sliding backwards.
Dan Estep
But He Knows Better! 101 Myths About Dogs
Let’s get the picture here. You’re out with your spade planting some petunias in your garden. Your dog Samantha is lying in the grass watching you. You end your work, put away your tools and go back into the house. Some time later that day you find that Sam has dug up the petunias you planted. Does this mean that Sam dug up the petunias because she saw you digging out there? Since she saw you digging in the garden she now thinks that it is ok for her to dig there too? No, this is going way too far. Dogs and some other animals can learn by observation — that is by simply watching others do something, but things are not that simple.
First, consider the assumption that Samantha dug up the flowers because she saw you digging in the garden. There could be lots of other reasons why she dug up the petunias. She might have dug them up even if you hadn’t watched you plant them. It is much more likely that there was some really interesting smell in the ground that was exposed when you planted the flowers. Or something in the potting soil you added that piqued her interest. Perhaps it was something in the plants themselves that led to her digging.
John Sells
Stagecoaches Across the American West
Chapter 2: Vehicles and Coach Making
Before moving on with the stage lines’ progress westward, a detailed examination of the vehicles that were developed for this task is worth completing. English and European designed coaches at an early point were regarded as unsatisfactory for the New England roads, which at the outset were more trails and ruts than roads. The English coaches employed an iron spring system functioning well enough when the coach was fully loaded, but was overly rigid under a light load. The coaches were inherently top heavy on curves and sloping terrain and when the springs, which probably lacked tensile strength, broke passengers would be stranded.1
Yankee ingenuity would lead to the development of new coach designs. A standard was set for a light vehicle that could be drawn quickly without overtaxing the horses. There would have to be as much comfort as possible, as well as protection from the weather. Sufficient space for baggage, express packages and mail was also essential. Finally, the driver would be elevated for overall vision and control of the team.2 Trial and error developed an egg shaped coach body supported by leather thoroughbraces which were attached to the coach body. There would no longer be a dependence on metal springs. The undercarriage was mounted on stout oak axles, the same used with heavy freight wagons. Metal braces were mounted at each corner of the undercarriage to hold the four inch leather thoroughbraces carrying the weight of the coach, forming a sort of cradle to hold the coach body.
AFTER
Minimum LIGHT EDIT on computer
MS Word with Track Changes
While wealth management may sound like a general term, actually it is a specific approach and process for helping individuals with their financial matters. A wealth manager is a specialized advisor who works as a financial architect; taking a holistic view of the client’s situation, then creating a detailed plan that provides a personal viable solution. The wealth manager maintains a long-term view of the entire process, to assure that the solution will be fully implemented and not left ignored in a leather binder on the shelf. (2200 wds/hr, by sentence and paragraph only; not address concept, context, organization, transitions)
LIGHT LINE EDIT on paper
When we left Alabama in 1903, I was a skinny eight-year- old with hazel eyes and dark- brown hair in braids so long I could sit on them. Tall for my age, I went barefoot and wore a print calico dress. To keep from catching diseases from the strangers on the train, I had to wear a piece of asafetida on a string around my neck.
As the big black engine chugged slowly north for four days and nights, the sense of adventure was so strong in me that I had little interest in the food Mama had packed in a basket for us to eat. Behind me lay the former slaves, cotton fields, rushing rivers, and “dark days” I knew in the tall timber country near Wetumpka, Alabama. Ahead of me was my future.
I knew then that the western Kansas prairies that had called us north held much promise. I did not know that my life there would involve homesteading in a sod house, driving cattle barefoot across snake-infested prairies, rabbit drives, tornadoes, doctoring people with mustard plasters, huge dust storms, and the greatest time of growth and change in history. During my lifetime, I saw civilization go from travel by horse and buggy to a man walking on the moon.
How could I, a bashful little girl born 29 years after the Civil War to a southern girl and a former Yankee soldier, have ever guessed that I would become one of the early pioneers of Weskan, Wallace County, Kansas? Never would I have dreamed that the way of life I was taking for granted would someday no longer exist. My family thinks these memories are worth writing down. This book is for them.
Typical Comprehensive
LINE EDIT on paper
How can you become a person who controls your life instead of letting circumstances control you?
Life—the creation of the self—is not a process of accidental discovery but a deliberate design for living well. We are not a product of our heredity, environment, or circumstances. They are just the canvas and palette we use to mold our lives.
There is a crisis in America. Freedom remains an undefined ideal. Each year it is becoming more elusive . . . instead of more real. Instead of progressing toward a glorious future as a nation, we are sliding backward.
What makes human success possible, both socio-political conditions and personal character? The ethics essential to personal character form the foundation of a free society.
HEAVY EDIT on paper
Your dog Samantha is lying in the grass watching you. You end your work, put away your tools, and go back into the house. Later that day you discover Sam has dug up the petunias you just planted. Did Sam do this because she saw you digging out there and now thinks it’s okay for her to dig there, too? No. This is going way too far. Dogs can learn by observation, but it’s not that simple. There could be lots of reasons why she dug up the petunias. More than likely, there was a really interesting smell in the ground that was exposed when you planted the flowers. Or something in the potting soil piqued her interest. Perhaps it was a smell in the plants themselves. (comprehensive line edit on paper; including requested organization, flow, conceptual, titling, 1100 wds/hr)
REWRITE on computer, once through
Heavy reorganization
In the East and South, stagecoach travel was common and easily accommodated because the network of railroad lines was extensive and coach runs between communities were relatively short. English and European-style coaches, unmanageable for New England’s early roads which were trails and ruts, were modified because their iron-spring system made them top heavy on curves and sloping terrain. They functioned well enough when fully loaded but were rigid under light loads and sometimes the springs broke, leaving passengers stranded.1
The introduction of the stagecoach to the western frontier required some changes. With Yankee ingenuity, western coach designs set a new standard for light vehicles that could be drawn quickly without overtaxing the horses. They allowed as much comfort as possible, protection from the weather, sufficient space for baggage, express packages and mail. The driver was elevated for vision and control of the team. (minimum rewrite once-through, major reorganization: sections, chapters, paragraphs, sentences)
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